My Symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) and back issues is something I’ve talked extensively about both here on the blog and on my YouTube channel. MM will be 4 years old this October and so that means I’ve been struggling to maintain basic movement since March 2015, when the SPD kicked in second time around.

It’s been some journey! But after a number of consultants, specialists,  various tests and finally an MRI to ascertain where the issue lay, the diagnosis came down to complete muscle degradation due to c-section delivery and SPD. Now I could get mad that this wasn’t spotted sooner, or that there doesn’t seem to be a process for recovery from SPD post c-section, but I’m not going to focus on something I can’t change. Instead I’m going to put all that energy into building my body back up to withstand normal activity.

I’ve been placed on a pain killer that deals with nerve pain to eliminate the current pain enough, allowing me to begin rehabilitation physio training. It’s certainly going to be a long road to recovery. One full of ups and downs, but I’m determined to do this for my girls. To lead a normal family life and do the everyday tasks that I’d taken for granted. Now that I know there is no “real” structural damage to my back and that I can’t do any further harm I’m looking at ways to build back up.

One of the things I’m working on may sound pretty simple, but I can assure you that it’s not for me and that’s walking. I’ve not been able to walk any great distance for fear of pain for over 4 years. I’ve popped the “baby steps to 5K” app on my phone and going out 3 times a week to simply walk the distances. As is always the case though, I got a little too cocky and started to add in little 20 second bursts of jogging. That was a big mistake as I landed up being bed bound for 2 solid weeks with fluid on my knee. It’s so very easy to compare your progress to others and start to “ramp up”. However, it’s so important in these cases to listen to your own body and go at your own pace. Before the knee injury, I was walking 4K, which was taking me 40 minutes. It might not sound like much, but if I tell you I couldn’t walk more that 5-10 minutes before without ending up in acute agony for a few days, you can see the achievement. One thing that injury has taught me is that slow and steady wins the race (that and stretching is essential!) So I’ve signed up for low impact training to build up my core strength more before I try and do the app again. And this time, I won’t be pushing my body or comparing myself to people who are able and can push it.

One of the big goals I have to work towards is the Great Scottish Run, which takes place in September in Glasgow. There’s a number of runs over the 2 days, from Toddler dash, right up to the half marathon and entries are open now.

We’ve signed up to the family mile and nothing will make me more proud than to be able to cross that line with my little crew. From someone who hasn’t ever been able to do the parents race at sports day, that’s going to feel like a huge achievement for all of us, as my inability affects us all. Hopefully that’ll mark the end of this painful stage in my life and be the start of a new chapter… One where I can be the mummy I want to be.

I’ll be documenting the training journey on Instagram stories, so you can watch my progress leading up to the event.

Disclosure: This is a collaborative post with The Great Scottish Run